God and Me Year Part 6 – Many A Blessings

God has blessed me so much this past month and a half… almost two. I have and am going through many trials right now, but I still can’t help but feel blessed. I have my dad, who is sick; my sister who is pregnant; my mom who is trying to deal with my sister (mainly) and my dad’s sickness, not to mention the fact that I’m sick and have been in and out of the doctor’s and on different medications and she can’t be with me; my heart has been broken by a boy who I thought was a friend (but who I had come to have feelings for) but has been acting childish; work and school and trying to balance those two with having a social life; and just the devil trying to deceive me about the way I should see myself. So many things in my life that have made me cry, sad, mad, and bitter. And though all these things have hurt me deeply, I have come to see the blessings that were brought about by them. I have learned to lean more on my Father and Savior, I have realized my sins and how they were affecting the flow of blessings in my life, I have been giving greater responsibility now that I am getting closer to God and have gotten rid of those sins, I have been blessed with a group of girls on my hall that I can minister to (I know the boy wanted me on leadership on my hall… sad that I can’t tell him, but also sad that somehow he was indirectly/directly keeping me from getting such a huge responsibility/honor/job), I am happier though there is sadness in my life, and I have peace through all of this.
To say that all moments have been happy and that I have never experienced great sadness would be a lie. I have cried for all these situations and the frustrations that come with them. I have shed tears for the people that matter and the people that I know aren’t worth a single of those tears. I have been mad at God (and told Him). I have cried out to God in anger, bitterness, sadness, pain… I have begged God for those people and those situations. I have also gone all the way to beg God for amnesia or memory loss just to forget him. But even still… I have had great joy and happiness.
I have been blessed to have people in my life who are praying for me and my family. People who… have gotten so mad and frustrated for my situation with this guy that they want to beat the crap out of him for hurting me. I have been blessed with much love that I can feel God through their love a lot of the time. I am not carrying the weight of all these things alone (something I’m still learning is okay), because those that love and care for me won’t let me. They have graciously taken up some of my load and are praying. I am blessed to have many pastors and teachers at my church and school keeping me in their prayers and encouraging me in a Godly manner on a daily basis. I am blessed to have brothers and sisters who take care of me and look out for my well-being and health when I don’t have the energy to do so.
I am reading His Word more and more and can’t get enough of it. I am seeing and learning truths that I had not realized were there. I am growing in His Word. I am overwhelmed with the desire to praise and worship Him more and more and at times where I am being dragged through the mud. I am seeing His hand in my life and feel His presence when I feel that I am “forever alone”. I just can’t get enough of Him. I talk to Him all the time. It’s amazing to see how in my life, God is THERE. I rely on Him so much that I wish I had been this close to Him last year when Natalie passed away. I wish I had realized all this a lot sooner, but I realize that that too was a blessing in disguise.
Anyways, I can’t do anything about these situations, and those that I could’ve done something for, I did. So for now I hold Proverbs 3:5-6 as one of the key verses in my life.

“Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

As I read through both Thessalonians, both Timothys and part of Judges and Titus, I have found other verses that have encouraged me and given me strength in my faith and confirmation of God’s love for His children.

But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you and guard you from the evil one. -2Thessalonians 3:3

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. -2 Timothy 1:7

You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. -2 Timothy 2:3

But you be watchful in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. -2 Timothy 4:5

I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. -2 Timothy 4:7

God is beauty. He is peace. He is strength. He is love. He is mercy and grace. He is defender of the weak. He is Father, God, Savior, the Great Immanuel, Alpha and Omega, Jehovah, and all that is great!!! All honor and glory be to the King of kings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tags: 1 thessalonians, 2 thessalonians, 2 timothy, afflictions, blessed, blessings, Faith, getting closer to god, God, happiness, hardships, Jesus, love, mad at god, peace, praise, praise and worship, Relationship with God, strength, The Bible, trials, worship

God and Me Part 5 – “You Need Closure”

Coming home has brought back a lot of sad memories from this time last year. Though I am thankful that I was able to get through it all, I can’t help but be sad at the same time. This time last year… I struggled to keep going. I had things going on in life that really… I thought was too much to handle. My best friend had just died and my dad was going through surgery after finding out he had advanced cancer. On top of that my younger sister was dying from seeing my dad go through so much.

I had never shown so much vulnerability as I had that spring semester… It was an unhealthy hopelessness that I felt. For those who have known me for years and know me better than many of those around me… You know that I’m the type of person that can be strong at a time where everyone else is breaking down. I’m the type that helps those breaking down while trying not to show what I feel. That’s how I was last year. With my best friend about a month dead, my dad in the hospital at a time where it seemed I would lose him too, and my sister not being able to control her tears from seeing my dad in that state… I went into a state of help others, pray for others, forget about how you feel. It’s a dangerous thing.

Now though being back… I’m better about my dad. He’s alive and a believer now. Thank God. My sister is happy and expecting a baby girl. My best friend’s family seem to be doing better. My circle of friends are doing better as well with Natalie’s death. Everyone’s doing well…

But I’ve come to realize, thanks to two people who know me better than most – my mom and friend Vivi – is that I need closure. What all of my friends have been able to get by being home when Natalie’s birthday and anniversary have gotten and I still haven’t. I know that I haven’t gotten it… and I know that I still struggle very much with her passing… still… But I honestly don’t feel ready to see her parents or to have all those memories come up… Though for her anniversary they did… At the worst time too.

Anyway I know that I need the closure. I thank my mom and Vivi for pointing it out… because otherwise… I don’t think I would’ve admitted it to myself. The plan was to get the closure I needed before I went back to school, but it just isn’t going to work out that way. I leave for school Saturday and right now I have to pack up all my things. The closure I need will come to be… Until then, God will continue to help me heal and prepare me for facing her parents.

 

Tags: closure, death, God, grief, sad memories, worst time

God and Me Year Part 4 – “Finish Strong”

Since returning from Thanksgiving Break I have been thinking a lot about what I need to do about a certain guy that I have come to like. Certain things, situations, and things that have been said have brought me to this conclusion: I should’ve been more careful about what I did and said and how I acted during those two weeks where I sort of but not really forgot about my no boy rule. I was being selfish then when I let myself act more on feelings than my goal/purpose. I don’t know if he feels like what I said and how I acted was leading him on… and if he does…. I’m sorry. Truth is I wasn’t. But moving on for now.

I have been praying about this and I’ve been talking to godly women about what they suggest I do. I’ve also talked to guys who are honest to no end because I just wanted advice from males. Anyways, it was pretty much a draw in the end. I had the women in my life either telling me to tell him and explain the situation and the other is that I just keep my mouth shut. The guys on the other hand (though they don’t really know the WHOLE story – maybe that’s why they told me this) to move on because if he can’t try to understand that this year was promised to God before meeting him and for good reason, that he didn’t deserve someone like me.

Not only did I talk to godly women outside my family and guys, but my mom cornered me so that I could talk to her (that cornered part is a post for another day…) about the boy that she heard I had come to like and that she had seen in person… which for her was a big thing seeing as I’m in school not anywhere by her and I don’t like guys from the Hispanic church (I’m just not too into Hispanics…). Side note: my mom decided that a moving car is the best way to corner me… which make sense because as much as I would want to get away, I wouldn’t dare jump out of a moving car. Anyways, I told her pretty much everything. And if I somehow missed something, she knew and would ask questions.

The advice she gave me in the parking lot of our complex was this (some is paraphrased because I don’t want to give the guy’s name or certain situations),

” Lilian, you need to finish this year strong. You promised God this year, give it to Him. As for this guy, don’t tell him anything. You’re the girl. If he likes you, HE  has to tell YOU. He has to make the first move. Pray about him and what’s going on with you two. When your year ends, if he likes you, he’ll tell you. He would’ve waited for your year to end to tell you because he knows that what you’re doing now is important. If he doesn’t like you he won’t say anything. And if he does, but it’s out of spite more than anything else, you’ll know why it wasn’t meant to be and why he isn’t the one for you. If he likes you now, and he’s someone you’re meant to be with, he’ll wait for you. He’ll encourage you with words and through prayer. If he asks for an explanation at any time, you can tell him why you’re doing this year, if he doesn’t don’t be upset about it either. Be his friend right now. Get to know him better. Become the greatest friend you can be with him. Be there for him, talk to him. Pray for him Lilian. Show him you care about him. If he’s not going to be there next year, but you guys want to be together, God will make it so that it works out when He wants it to be. Distance won’t change His plans for your lives. But Lilian,  finish strong. When the year ends, you’ll be more ready for that relationship than if you were to forget about your year now and just confessed. Work on yourself for your future husband. Make this year count.”

Sane advice from momma, isn’t it? When she was telling me this, I did interrupt her a couple of times… I told her that I didn’t want him to feel like I at any point played with his feelings, because I didn’t.  And even at the end of her speech I told her again… What did she say? “He’ll eventually understand.” *sigh*

At that time, you don’t know JUST how much I was frustrated with her then. In my head, I was like “you always tell me the same thing with everything! You just change the situation and the people.” But talking to my friend yesterday, I realized just how much my mom was right. My friend was telling me that I needed to tell him… something that a lot of the women I trust have been telling me I need to do. I told her some about what my mom had told me that Wednesday night, and my friend automatically agreed and changed her opinion on the spot. It was when I was talking to her that I noticed how much wisdom what she told me actually had. He’s the male, he needs to make the first couple of moves (including the confession first). He’s a son of God, he needs to understand that God has a reason for this and that I need it. He needs to trust that what he has seen from me in the early stages of our friendship wasn’t a lie. It was me being honest and raw. He needs to understand that even though I didn’t control/stop myself, I gave him a look into what I felt. He needs to trust that me mentioning my promise to God was because I need to finish this, but that it doesn’t mean that I don’t like him. That I lied to him and took what I needed to feel good about myself… that I took advantage of him in any way….

Because I didn’t.

I liked him then.

I like him now.

But I need to focus on my relationship with God this year. I have to get on the same page with Him. I have to gain more confidence of who I am in Him and learn to love myself. I need to learn to see myself like He sees me. I need this year.

I met this guy at a really weird time in my life where all there is is the aftermath of a natural disaster… God is the help needed to clean it up. This guy walked into my life where there is still cleaning, rebuilding, and life being returned to my life.

Note: my mom did ask me if I knew when my year would end. And when I told her, both her and my sister couldn’t help but laugh. When is it?? If you don’t remember, I made it extremely specific for my sake as the minute I walk out of my last final for my Spring semester in 2012.

Prayers are welcome!

Tags: advice, advice from guys, boys, God, God and me year, godly women, life, love, mom knows best, relationships, rotten timing, spiritual life, understanding

God and Me Year Part 3 – Love Story(ies)

There’s been a couple love stories being played out in my life. What do you understand by love story though?? Most think boy falls for girl or girl falls for boy. Let me get this straight though… I’m talking about one great LOVE STORY and then some smaller love stories that are girl falling for boy.

The one love story that I’m enjoying every minute of right now is the one I’m having with God. Can I just say that He’s the Great Romancer, the Perfect Boyfriend. When I  think of the way that most girls want guys to be certain things for them… I can now say that I have someone who “completes me” or “fills in every piece that’s missing”. When you think about it, no one can do it but Him. To Him, I’m beautiful, I’m special, I’m one of a kind, I am worth knowing, I am worth having around…. Girls, have you ever felt all that all the time? Most likely not. Why? Because no matter how much we would like to have them (guys) make us feel like that ALL the time, they’re incapable of that. Even though I have people around me that make me feel like I’m ugly, worthless, nothing all that special, God reminds me that the only person I should worry about how He sees me is Him. Isn’t that amazing? He loves me despite my imperfections. He is someone who doesn’t leave me if I screw up majorly. He instead picks me up and loves on me. I have someone who wouldn’t trade me for anybody else. I’m His. As I continue to seek Him, He romances. I feel His love. It’s definitely an amazing thing.

But I’m not going to lie… It seems like there are guys in my life, that no matter how much I try to have that barrier there… It’s not working all that well. I have stories… Even though I am focusing on God, somehow I’m having feelings surface for certain guys. I’m having my own stories with them… Not to confuse with love or even a love story. It’s embarrassing, it’s funny, it’s cute, it’s what my life is turning out to be.

Hmmm… Let me see if I can put a number… I don’t know if I can… Because something I think might not be all that of a story has turned out that others around us would count it as one. But from what I know there’s two. Both Asian. One a servant of God, the other… I hope one day he’ll become one (please pray that those that have direct contact with him can have opportunities to talk to him about God’s love).

Now, I have stories and moments with them that I am being selfish about telling others. They’re moments where I had to catch myself. There are moments that I have shared with a handful because even though they were PRECIOUS to me, I needed to just let someone know. I have stories that my friends have witnessed. I have thoughts and feelings as well that I have been selfish with, shared to few, or my friends saw me go through…..

That’s all I will say about that. I have them both in prayers. Not how other girls have their “crushes” in prayer, but in the sense of praying that he becomes stronger in his faith, we become better friends, and that he becomes more resistant to bad influences (seems I have to pray a bit harder on that one) and the other one… For him to recognize God as his personal Savior and for us to have a closer friendship. I pray more for their spiritual lives and their physical health than for one of them to like me. I have come to the conclusion that it’s really pointless and stupid to pray for that. If they like you they like you. If they don’t… well they can someday, but if they don’t you can have some great friends. God will inevitably give you the right person for you. For me whether it’s one of these guys or not,  only time will tell.  I pray for them and will continue to do so. They’re on my list of who I need to pray for.

Until I walk out of my last final exam in the Spring… my ONLY love story is the one I’m having with the ULTIMATE BOYFRIEND.

Tags: boys, crush, crushes, crushing on, God, God and me year, in love, liking someone, love, love stories, love story, loving someone, Relationship with God, relationships, ultimate boyfriend, year with God

God and Me Sort of Year Part 2 – What is Beautiful?

I’ve always struggled with this question. As a female, I think we’re always being told what’s beautiful according to what society dictates and if we’re not, people have no problem with letting us know. See, this is where it sets in in young girls’ minds. Who wants to be told, “You’re not pretty,” “You need to lose weight,” “Maybe if you tried harder,” “No, I don’t like you. You’re ugly”? No one does.

Lately though, even though no one has directly told me these things… I’ve found myself struggling with the concept of beauty on a new level. I see girls around me and friends that are BEAUTIFUL. They are gorgeous. Now some of them… I’m not going to lie are just pretty on the outside, but then I have friends who are beautiful inside and out. And people notice.. I get done hanging out with them and all of a sudden, I feel worthless. I don’t feel good enough (ALL girls go through this). Which has brought on its own set of problems that I’d rather not get into… Ever.

What society calls beautiful is always changing, but one thing that remains the same is that beauty is just what is found on the outside. Does she have the right body shape? The height? The face? It’s all the lies that females are told to believe about beauty. Sometimes it gets to be too much. Girls will go through THOUSANDS of diets, including Anorexia and Bulimia and sometimes extreme work-out regimens. They will “hide” themselves. They’ll want to become wall flowers. Invisible. Girls will go into depression and sometimes become suicidal.

Society has this image of beauty that no one can ever live up to, not even the models that supposedly have it. Pictures get photo shopped ALL the time. Imperfections are removed. Smiles whitened. Eyes enlarged, lips smaller or bigger (this really depends). So many things get distorted, but somehow society sees it and says, “This is what women need to look like to be beautiful.”

I’ve been reading Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge as my devotional – which I recommend every female read – and I can’t help but cry by the time I get done with the chapter. It hits it on the head. All of it. The reasons females feel so worthless. The factors that have women ending in questioning their beauty. They say that every female has a question that they need answered, “Am I captivating? Do you see me?” It’s interesting to read.

With every thought that a female has negatively about being captivating is wonderfully answered with biblical truth and reference. Think about this – which by the way stunned me, because women even in church aren’t told this – we are made in the image of God, right? Which would mean that we are made with God’s qualities. Men are strong, leaders, and the head of the house. God is strong, leader/guide, the head of the church. Women are soft, loving, caring, romantic, and adventurous. Which would only make sense then that God is soft, loving, caring, romantic and adventurous. When we say we’re made in the image of God, it means that femininity is something that God has. No matter how much it’s seen as weak, God has those very same qualities.

You know. Having people… “men” attack your beauty is not okay. I’ve been feeling like lately people attack me. I feel like they tell me I’m not good enough. And you know what? I’m not going to be everyone’s definition of beautiful… most everyone’s… But why do people feel the need to attack the kind of person you are? Inside and out. It doesn’t make sense. I think sometimes men just don’t understand how one thing you can say… or not say really affects the females around them. Like John and Stasi said in their book,

“To experience the strength of a man is to have him speak on our behalf. For when men abuse with words, we are pierced. Their strength has wounded us. When they are silent, we are starved. They have offered no strength; they have abandoned us. But when they speak with us, hear us, offer their words to us and on our behalf, something in our hearts is able to rest. . . .
We long for the protection masculine strength offers. To have them shield us from physical harm, yes. But also to have them shield us from emotional harm and spiritual attack. To intercede for us in a relationship which has become hurtful. . . .
As women we long for someone strong to stand between us and the vicious assaults of our Enemy.”

Whether it’s attacking our intelligence, our personality or our physical appearance it doesn’t help us feel beautiful. Beauty is not only an outward thing. It’s what as women we have to offer. …But some “men” just don’t see it like that. We are to be a size two at most, with pale skin, with long legs. Our personalities? Depending on the person, vary.

Our beauty on the inside needs to radiate through our pores, but it’s hard for us to see our own beauty sometimes because of all these things the world tells us we need to be. Beauty isn’t skin deep (as much as that disappoints some guys). Beauty is something more. It’s the way we carry ourselves, it’s our femininity (which for the most part HAS been taken from us), it’s letting God shine through us. God loves our femininity. He made us this way because that’s what he thought Adam needed when He made Eve.

This is why I said femininity has been taken away from us… Remember what I said about girls having a question they need answered? It’s true. I’ve  been reflecting on what John and Stasi say in their book and have come to see that they’re right. As girls we want to be pretty. We walk… no, STRUT around the house in a dress, twirl. It’s all part of us wanting our fathers to tell us we are beautiful. But we don’t always have that. Instead we can also have absent fathers or abusive fathers. We learn through them that we are not beautiful. We aren’t special. We’ll sometimes think that the reason why is somehow our fault and therefore, from then on, we begin to hide. We no longer try to be feminine… or we do but it’s to get the wrong type of attention.

I personally hide. I know that’s what I do. I try to fix what’s wrong with me. If someone doesn’t like me (not necessarily in a romantic sense), I feel like I’m not good enough. Like there’s something wrong with me and I try to figure it out so that I can fix it. I’m the type of person who prefers to be in the back. Let my beautiful friends shine and stick me in the back somewhere for no one to see me. I like frumpy clothes (though I just think they’re comfortable clothes). I hate it when people use indirect remarks to tell me what’s wrong with me because I already think… “I’m not good enough for anyone”.

This semester it’s gotten harder to think that I’m good enough in any sense. I have people in my life that remind me of what I’ve spent my whole life hearing… just with a new twist. I struggle with seeing anything worth anyone’s time in myself. I struggle to be vulnerable (as we should be as females… and not the wrong type of vulnerable, but the healthy one) because I don’t want to experience rejection once again. I struggle with compliments, I always think that they’re just being nice (even if they say they’re not the type to pay a compliment unless they mean it). I won’t talk about my feelings in any part of the romantic sense, because I don’t want to be rejected yet again.

Even though I struggle with all this – and so do all women – God’s opening my eyes to the reason He made us. Why He made females the way He did and how I can reclaim the beauty God has given us. I’m slowly learning. This might be one of the bigger challenges in my God and Me Year.

Ladies, if you still haven’t read Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, I recommend you do. It’s an amazing book. Reclaim your femininity.

Tags: Am I beautiful?, Am I captivating?, beautiful, beautiful women, beauty, being a woman, Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, femininity, God, God's gift to men, love, skin deep, what is beautiful

God and Me Sort of Year Part 1

So… This whole singleness for a year thing where I just focus on my relationship with God has been a struggle… I’m not going to lie. At first I was like, “This isn’t going to be difficult.” THAT WAS A LIE! I understand why friends were telling me it was going to be hard, because SERIOUSLY it’s when the guys worth liking come around.

For about a week or so, I let myself lose focus on my plan for the year… and it was something that caught me off guard. I let it slip to some close friends who I had found myself attracted to and that just began the journey off the path I was set to walk this school year. It shouldn’t have come out of my mouth and I shouldn’t have even let myself think about this guy this way… but I did.

Now that I’m looking back on it, when I spoke it, it’s like I allowed it to take life. I spoke about it and about him to friends and I realize that it’s something that I should’ve kept to myself like I said I would. But to be honest, it started with the question “Are you attracted to him?” That question then led to “Do you like him?” Which inevitably ended in talking about him and moving some of the focus on him.

Some things happened that produced a certain feeling and I that’s when I realized that this had gone too far. It wasn’t a terribly sinful feeling that I would be ashamed of. It was a normal feeling… but a feeling that girls have when they have boyfriends and they’re not 100% certain of the guy’s feeling for her. In plain and simple English, jealousy. I realized then the shift and I decided what it was that I needed to do.

I cut off facebook and turned off my phone. I’m right in the middle of this playing itself out. I have decided that I need to take time away from facebook and my phone (both venues I was using to talk to him) and focus on school and God. I called my mom Monday night before they both went out and told her of my decision. Though it was mainly done in an effort to get back on track to my year of singleness, it’s also so I can focus on school. I didn’t necessarily tell her or those around me the first part but instead the second. Though some friends figured out something wasn’t right, none of them knew what it was. I sort of told maybe two of my friends the main reason, but the others are still in the dark… well until they read this… if they do.

Everything went off at midnight Tuesday. Well… for the most part, my phone was on for a couple of minutes afterwards cause clearly people forgot. I turn my phone off and on occasionally for time updates and to check any voice mails that might have come in that are important… and because it’s used for my alarm in the mornings. Facebook has still been a temptation to get on, but I’m trying my best. I’ve already failed, but I’m starting again. Twitter is now my one source of communication besides face to face.

I miss facebook and my phone because that’s how I kept in touch with people on this campus and back home. It’s how I made plans to meet with people and how I was able to see what everyone was up to back home. It will go back on eventually, but I just don’t know when. I need to stay focused for a bit without those two things before I feel like I can trust myself.

So I guess now if someone were to ask me, “Do you like someone?” I can say yes, but that now’s not the time to think about it.

I have told one of my roommates and my prayer leader about pretty much everything that I need to do and what’s happening and I’m just happy to have the support. It’s really encouraging. I’ve also told two other people just the surface of what’s going on and to know they’ll be praying for this is also RIDICULOUSLY encouraging. Now that I have this support and accountability, it will definitely be a bit easier to stay on track.

I look forward to the rest of this school year. God and me year. Guys, though fun and awesome will be friends for now.

Tags: cell phone, dating Jesus, difficulty, facebook, Faith, friends, God, God and me year, guys, jealousy, life, Lord, love, phone, prayer. support, relationships, spiritual walk, struggle, twitter, year of singleness

The Year of Singleness

Okay, so I’ve mentioned a lot to those around me that I’m not interested in dating nor am I willing to even look at guys as dating material or anything like that this school year and somehow people don’t understand how that could be. If I were a freshman here…. They wouldn’t question the logic for it. They’d be like, “that’s a great idea.” Since I’m a junior, people not only question why but have told me that it’s not going to last long.

So, let’s just set the record straight and get this out of the way.

Q. Why are you doing it?

A. I want to focus on my relationship with God. As most know, I had a rough period where I didn’t want to live and now I just want to get my relationship back on track. I’m too screwed up to think about having a relationship or fantasizing about one with a guy at this point.

Q. Why a year?

A. I think it’ll be better to spend a year of Liberty on just focusing on other things than boys.

Q. You really think you’re going to last all year? Because it’s really hard….

A. That’s my goal and of course it’ll be hard, but I’m not going to fail. I know that’s when the guys you usually would want to date come around, but it helps to have your mind on something else. And for me it’s God and school. 

Q. What if a guy comes up to you and tells you he likes you and you like him back?

A. First, I wouldn’t tell him I like him. That’s just walking into a trap that I myself would have set up. Second, I look at it this way, if a guy really were to do that and tell me he likes me and he really, legitimately does and I tell him to wait till the end of the year to see if i would feel that way or not… if he’s really interested, he’ll be willing to wait. 

Q. When’s the last day of this?

A. After my last final.

Q. What about the guys that you’re hanging out with and spending time with alone?

A. They’re this thing called friends…. See, most people have them and some even are of the opposite sex. You know… It’s a common thing to hang out with said friends. Something like studying, coffee, or showing your support for them and cheering them on with their activities. Every time you’re seen with someone of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that you are “talking” to them or even interested in them romantically. (Sorry for the very sarcastic tone in this one… It’s just… REALLY?!?)

Q. But are you interested in any of the guys that you are spending time with?

A. Beauty of this whole one year thing… YOU’LL NEVER KNOW! Or at least I’m not going to say now. I may be attracted to someone or not, but it’s about self-control and catching yourself if you begin to think about someone in that way.

That’s it regarding that… I really don’t want people to misunderstand my actions and my motives. Really, I want to have this year free of thinking and feeling the pressure to date. This year, it’s about making friends. AND JUST THAT.

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Before I go, I had a friend tell me about something she overheard in our class and I just need to say something about it… Cause seriously… Boys… *SHAKE MY HEAD*

Guys, if you don’t like a girl, don’t lead her on. I understand it makes you feel GREAT to know that there’s a girl that’s willing to try and make “moves” on you, but DANG! And another thing, YOU CAN BE GOOD-LOOKING AND HAVE A HORRIBLE PERSONALITY… AND GIRLS MAY STILL WANT TO DATE YOU, BUT UNLESS YOU CHANGE YOURSELF FROM THE INSIDE, YOU WILL ALWAYS ATTRACT THE WRONG LADIES. AND TO THOSE YOU WOULD LIKE THE ATTENTION FROM…. YOU MAY JUST BE SOMETHING NICE TO LOOK AT, BUT THEY’LL NEVER THINK OF YOU AS POSSIBLE BOYFRIEND MATERIAL.

Tags: boyfriends, dating, God, Liberty University, life, love, questions about dating, relationships, staying single, year with God